Yes, it’s my birthday. And while it does fall on one of the most auspicious dates of the year, I am still one year older after the parades have broken up, the fireworks have died down and the crowds have gone home. The silver lining is that I am still standing.
When I was younger my birthday celebrations would begin by collecting friends, driving to the Falls to see the fireworks from the US side, having spent ours a few days beforehand, and laughingly joking that it was all for me. Then, one unforgettable year, while living in Italy with the various relatives who would have me, I was baffled to learn that Europeans did not celebrate the 4th. Thinking it through clearly, I recalled that the 4th did constitute the separation of the US from the British empire so the fool was me. It was very humbling. Italian friends did not celebrate July the first or the fourth, but did wish me buon compleanno.
In any event, moving from birthdays to birthday gifts, my husband believes he is the living embodiment of Mike Baxter. If you have not had the pleasure to watch Last Man Standing then this missive will not hold much meaning for you, which is unfortunate, but bear with me anyway. (The first six seasons of the show were hysterically funny, the last season not so much.) The show made it clear that Mike loved his wife and daughters very much. As the show unfolded over the years, Mike’s wife, Vanessa, was the recipient of numerous unusual birthday gifts. Mike was all about practical gifts while Vanessa gave him a ’67 Impala. Nonetheless, over the various shows, he gave her a she-shed, a change counter-sorter, a hand crank phone charger, a taser, my own desk chair, you get the idea. Which brings me to my gift. Scott, that most practical of men, and most loving of husbands, inspired by Mike Baxter, gave me a flashlight-stun gun combo for my purse. I ask you, what says love more than a stun gun (except maybe diamonds, but that’s another story).
