Thursday, June 22, 2023

Hair Color


Ours was a family of brunettes while school friends and neighbors had various shades of blonde through black. Some teachers had grey hair while others, like the principal, had white hair. 

Admittedly hair color was not anything to which I had given conscious thought until one early fall day, when I was eight or nine years old, my mom took me shopping at a very nice department store. I first noticed an elegantly dressed older lady walking toward us. She appeared to be wearing a fur shrug on her shoulders, with the fox heads still attached. Wow. Continuing to, somewhat rudely, stare at the glassy eyes of her fox heads as she walked past, I lost interest in the animal wrap when I noticed her perfectly pure white hair. But as she walked away I saw that the back of her hair was blue. Blue! Blue hair. I was astonished and said so out loud, much to my mother’s great displeasure. A hushed but stern lecture followed. I did not understand her disdain towards my remark, especially since my mother and her coffee loving girlfriends would whisper asides to each other, such as “she dyes her hair”, implying that whatever lady’s standards were being discussed were not quite up to moral par. This “blue rinse” sighting was fascinating.

Later in the week, during one of my mom’s weekly visits to the hairdresser the nice stylist asked me what was new so, excitedly, I told her about the lady with blue hair. That was when I learned that the Queen Mum, whose sense of decorum was inviolable, used a blue rinse in her hair. This revelation, of course, made blue hair acceptable for the entire older female population of the British empire. After getting used to the idea of seeing older ladies with blue hair, one day I saw a lady with not a blue rinse, but a pink one. Now that lady was living on the edge.

Time passed. As a teenager, during the 60s, when bouffant hair prevailed, my mom got a call from one of our neighbors asking if she knew anything about hair color. My mother's first reaction was "of course not", but prevailed by asking what she could do to help. It seemed that her daughter had rinsed her mousy brown hair with peroxide but rather than the glorious blonde shade that she was envisioning, her hair had turned orange. At least some of it had turned orange, while the rest turned into various streaked shades of blonde and brown; the outcome being something of a deranged Kabuki player appearance. A furtive trip to the beauty salon ensued and, when they returned, most of her hair had been cut into a short pixie bob. It was quite the scandal, even then. At our house, mom repeated that cautionary tale whenever I looked longingly at a blonde temptress on TV or in a magazine.

Finally, all grown up, I moved to California. This was not just a change in country, or climate or time zone, this was a landing to another dimension entirely. No one, but no one had grey hair, regardless of age or sex, grey hair did not, and still does not, exist in California. Even today as I watch Tom Selleck on Blue Bloods, I see that he does not have grey hair and he is 78 years old. Hair color has advanced from being whispered about in kitchen klatches to out loud ordinary. Nowadays, people appear to change hair color as often as they change their socks. 

Last, I remember one particularly hilarious phone call with my brother who had just returned home from visiting with our mom. He was somewhat chagrined that our mother had asked him to dye his greying hair because his grey hair was making her look old. 

 

Monday, June 12, 2023

Personal Pet Peeve

 My personal pet peeve is that I have absolutely no sense of direction. I can barely differentiate between left and right but N-S-E-W leaves me standing still. When I was a little girl my older brother showed me a compass, professing that I could never get lost as long as I held a compass. His explanation about magnetic north meant nothing. While he talked, I saw that the compass always pointed north, no matter in which direction I stood so how was I supposed to go anywhere but north. The compass made no sense. 

During my teenage years, some of my more affluent friends had cars, or access to their parents’ cars. I remember a ride up to one of the beach towns. We all met at a friend’s place, whose father was allowing us the use of his Chevrolet for the ride up to the cottage. In those days, cars were huge and seemed to easily seat eight or ten. As his father gave last minute instructions, I quietly listened to the directions. “Head north for 30 miles, then turn east for another five miles, and look for the orange mailbox; that will alert you to the residence location”. I was so grateful that those directions were not aimed at me because the only thing I understood was the orange mailbox. Remarks such as “you know which way is east because the sun rises in the east”; meant nothing. What if it was a cloudy day? What if it was dark outside? I always felt like Charlie Brown listening to an adult talking: wah, wah, wah, wah.


Finally, all grown up, I moved to Los Angeles and bought a car. My first accoutrement to the car was the purchase of a Thomas Brothers map book. I knew how to read maps and I understood street signs and landmarks. I could understand “drive down Mulholland until you see the Arco gas station; turn right at the gas station, that will put you on Sunset. Travel along Sunset until you see the big green Santa Monica Blvd. sign. The restaurant is on the near right corner.” With those kinds of instructions, I could get from point A to point B. All other times, I would listen politely to east blah blah blah, then south blah blah blah, etc. I would nod my head, then look up the address in my map book and away I went.


Today, of course, my lack of direction pet peeve has been replaced by an even greater pet peeve: GPS. So, while using the GPS, most of the time I can easily get to where I’m going, even though I don’t know where I am. Every once in a while I make a turn and find that annoying little voice saying ‘recalculating’, which makes me wish Thomas Brothers map books were still around. While the GPS knows how to travel as the crow flies, it does not account for such anomalies as the Chesapeake Bay, so turning east on Mulberry Street in St. Michaels and traveling for 17 miles would have me floating in the Miles River. My pet peeve regarding my sense of direction has been replaced with my pet peeve regarding GPS.