Happy Thanksgiving America

Nothing says Thanksgiving like peeling onions at 8 am., which made me wonder, do other countries celebrate Thanksgiving the way the U.S. does? What is T-Day about, really. It appears to be an annual holiday that exists only to sanctify overeating at the dining room table across from people with whom people are related but with whom they are not too friendly and who then have the audacity to root for the wrong football team.

Canada celebrates Thanksgiving in October. It’s a small one day family event. People give thanks for the harvest; nothing to do with pilgrims, maize or Indians,  but simply to be grateful that the latest harvest reaped enough food to carry the good folk through the coming winter.  Germany, apparently, has a similar harvest festival, likewise celebrated in October. Japan has an ancient shinto holiday to celebrate the harvest, but also has a legal holiday that was adopted during the American occupation after World War II (speaking of roots). Other European countries have similar harvest holidays but nothing compared to the four day U.S. extravaganza that includes Black Friday, mega-movie debuts, or travel discounts for weary passengers.

Both of my parents were born and raised in Italy. Their families ventured to the new country while they were still children, escaping the distressing after effects of WW1, and living quietly in rural areas, surrounded by other immigrants of similar ethnic backgrounds. They grew up, married and moved to the big city for business opportunities but still found their compatriots through church, and kept the memories of their roots alive. While dad went about growing his business mom stayed home, as did all the other moms, who would get together regularly to exchange recipes and discuss other important matters, such as “Do you think she dyes her hair; you know she’s a di-vor-cee”. Otherwise, they maintained their traditions but depended on the next generation, us, to deliver messages from school and friends and to teach them about an alternate reality, aka the ‘outside world’. True to our important responsibilities, one year, excitedly, we came home to tell the parents all about this Thanksgiving holiday. While they listened patiently, as they did to every new fangled idea we came home with, we explained how a big feast took place with lots of food and relatives seated around the dining room table. Mom looked at us quizzically and asked “like on Sundays, when everyone comes over for lunch after church?” Oh yeah. Pretty much, except with something called gravy instead of tomato sauce.

That was then. Mom’s kitchen klatches are long over. Everyone has grown up and moved away with families of their own, but the holidays remain the same. Relatives and friends abound, green bean casseroles with onion rings now make their way to the table and turkeys come out of the oven, filling the house with familiar aromas. Dogs lick the stuffing when no one is looking, grandma complains that she’s old and ignored and we will be sorry when she is not here next year, someone drops the cranberry sauce on the rug; a memento stain for years to come, and raucous screams over the illegal pass will be argued about the rest of the afternoon. Thank you, America. Happy Thanksgiving.

TV Ads

Now that the political season is over, we can return to our regularly scheduled prescription drug ads. There’s a host of maladies out there of which I was not aware, but thanks to the drug ads that discuss “non-small cell ace bandage drug inhibitor” a patient can now speak intelligently with the oncologist and tell the doc what drug is best for that patient's ailment. Really? Would a smart person really tell a doctor who studied medicine, specialized in oncology to help a patient stay alive; would a rational person really tell the doc that a TV ad that said “drug A” is best, tell the doc to prescribe that drug. Fools may, but I would do as I was told. I like life. 

And those political bashing ads: “He/she’s a professional politician, while I am an honest business man/woman”. . . who wants to become a  professional politician like the current opponent. 

We don’t see those bashing ads in any other brand so why do the political swamis say this is the way to go. I agree with Jim Mullen. Coca-Cola doesn’t bash Pepsi-Cola because, really, what is to be said: “our highly sugared chemically colored and carbonated beverage will make you fatter and give you a better quality of diabetes and other health care problems than our competitor”? No. Instead, bright shining faces want to give the world a coke to make it happy so that it can live in perfect harmony, yes they do. If politicians were smart, they would just hand out Coca-Cola to everyone. 

United Airlines doesn’t promote the fact that they have had fewer crashes than American Airlines (don’t know if that’s true, just saying). The airlines don’t bash each other; they just talk about how great it is to arrive at a certain destination. The opening scenes of Love Actually show hundreds of people at the airport hugging and kissing each other upon arrival, some crying with happiness; best airline ad ever. No longer, though, do we hear that getting there is half the fun. It is only fun if the individual sitting in one of those tiny little seats weighs 80 pounds and believes that a 2 oz bag of peanuts will suffice as a meal. I’m speaking, of course, of the emotional support monkey. All passengers ought to be handed a can of Crisco when boarding. 

The Hershey kisses ad that shows various holiday colored kisses jumping and ringing while bells play to the tune of “we wish you a merry Christmas” has been running since 1989. Doesn’t that little kisses commercial make you happy? Who doesn’t smile to see the ubiquitous Hershey kiss, whether you eat the things or not. And those beautiful Clydesdale horses jingling through the moonlit evening snow towing a tree toward a cozy and bright winter home, while a tiny xylophone quietly and slowly  tinkles “I’ll be home for Christmas”; doesn’t that commercial warm your cold heart, whether you drink beer or not. Those ads make you happy, warm and fuzzy; you feel better after watching them cross your screen. Why can't politicians put out ads like that? President Roosevelt held fireside chats. Can't you just see him sitting in a rocking chair, wearing a wool cardigan, while the fire crackles in the background. We knew the world was safe then, never mind the reality of the depression and the war. He said we have nothing to fear but fear itself and it was so.

Wouldn’t it be nice if a politician stood up in an ad and said “vote for me, I will make your life better and you will feel happier”. No need to mention the opponent. Please. More kisses and fewer illicit affairs. We know that none of the commercials are true, but we don’t mind watching them.