TV Ads

Now that the political season is over, we can return to our regularly scheduled prescription drug ads. There’s a host of maladies out there of which I was not aware, but thanks to the drug ads that discuss “non-small cell ace bandage drug inhibitor” a patient can now speak intelligently with the oncologist and tell the doc what drug is best for that patient's ailment. Really? Would a smart person really tell a doctor who studied medicine, specialized in oncology to help a patient stay alive; would a rational person really tell the doc that a TV ad that said “drug A” is best, tell the doc to prescribe that drug. Fools may, but I would do as I was told. I like life. 

And those political bashing ads: “He/she’s a professional politician, while I am an honest business man/woman”. . . who wants to become a  professional politician like the current opponent. 

We don’t see those bashing ads in any other brand so why do the political swamis say this is the way to go. I agree with Jim Mullen. Coca-Cola doesn’t bash Pepsi-Cola because, really, what is to be said: “our highly sugared chemically colored and carbonated beverage will make you fatter and give you a better quality of diabetes and other health care problems than our competitor”? No. Instead, bright shining faces want to give the world a coke to make it happy so that it can live in perfect harmony, yes they do. If politicians were smart, they would just hand out Coca-Cola to everyone. 

United Airlines doesn’t promote the fact that they have had fewer crashes than American Airlines (don’t know if that’s true, just saying). The airlines don’t bash each other; they just talk about how great it is to arrive at a certain destination. The opening scenes of Love Actually show hundreds of people at the airport hugging and kissing each other upon arrival, some crying with happiness; best airline ad ever. No longer, though, do we hear that getting there is half the fun. It is only fun if the individual sitting in one of those tiny little seats weighs 80 pounds and believes that a 2 oz bag of peanuts will suffice as a meal. I’m speaking, of course, of the emotional support monkey. All passengers ought to be handed a can of Crisco when boarding. 

The Hershey kisses ad that shows various holiday colored kisses jumping and ringing while bells play to the tune of “we wish you a merry Christmas” has been running since 1989. Doesn’t that little kisses commercial make you happy? Who doesn’t smile to see the ubiquitous Hershey kiss, whether you eat the things or not. And those beautiful Clydesdale horses jingling through the moonlit evening snow towing a tree toward a cozy and bright winter home, while a tiny xylophone quietly and slowly  tinkles “I’ll be home for Christmas”; doesn’t that commercial warm your cold heart, whether you drink beer or not. Those ads make you happy, warm and fuzzy; you feel better after watching them cross your screen. Why can't politicians put out ads like that? President Roosevelt held fireside chats. Can't you just see him sitting in a rocking chair, wearing a wool cardigan, while the fire crackles in the background. We knew the world was safe then, never mind the reality of the depression and the war. He said we have nothing to fear but fear itself and it was so.

Wouldn’t it be nice if a politician stood up in an ad and said “vote for me, I will make your life better and you will feel happier”. No need to mention the opponent. Please. More kisses and fewer illicit affairs. We know that none of the commercials are true, but we don’t mind watching them.